Peter losing Wendy

Put things in order,
the same instructions
that I never gave
but now,
on the way to 
putting things in order 
I found a poem,
that I wrote last year,
I tried to repair it,
in its meter and rhythm
and also how I feel now
different from the past.

How did it end?

If I had just written you a complete poem

totally in English only a week ago?

I tried with all my might to

show you my completely honest love

even if

it pulled me away from home

I made an effort to

convince myself that

the miles between us are just a test

of how far love can travel,

that's why I told you about my life

day by day, with every detail

to nurture our bond

the same way you ignored me.

The same way you ignored me,

you ignored all the promises you made

because your words aren’t trustworthy at all

and now I know,

dream about things only grown men dare 

to face.

And I'm so sorry,

my dear Peter Pan,

you will never grow up,

and you will never be ready to fly by my side,

and that's the reason why I turned the light off

but I spent more than two thousand nights

looking out my window waiting for you

to come and take me to Neverland.

Maybe it will hurt you,

maybe you wouldn’t even care

and I wasted my time wondering

 how this might impact you

because your silence,

even at the end of us,

just gives me more reasons not to talk to you anymore,

but people like me want to protect you

even when my love for you had ended.

Forgive me, Peter, my lost fearless love,

in old notebooks like hallows, preserved the verses

that we dedicated to each other

when we were just kids,

and now as an adult I need to forget

to let go of the baffling love that we had,

forgive, Peter

for leaving all the promises that I made behind,

but the ocean took them far away,

just as your distance took our hearts away.

You said you were gonna keep in touch

but you disappeared in a week,

you said you were gonna become a good man

but you never tried to make an effort to keep your word,

you said you were gonna grow up,

but you're still lost in your imagined world

full of voices you don't even understand;

you said you would mature

in this chance you were given

and then you were gonna come find me,

but you are  still a kid with fantasies

and you will continue making promises,

empty promises as big as the oceans, 

alluring

promises

but

never 

 kept.

At last I concur
with my own words

spoken long ago

yet more real than ever in the present,

you are, in truth, Peter Pan,

my favorite book I never started

because with you I had 

the immersive experience live,

you prefer to play with other adult-children like you,

not to face your self-sabotaging ways

but I hold the belief that one day

you´ll grow up,

not with me

but for yourself.